Charlotte - Pride and Prejudice Continues Page 12

  He stood up and began to pace the room.

  The morning's events had led him to three startling realisations. One, that Lady Catherine was wanting and was in error. Two; that Charlotte had been in the right and she was greatly respected by those who knew her, and three; he was in danger of falling in love with his own wife.

  Mr Collins had never thought much of love. There had been none between his parents, although he knew it was love that had falsely persuaded his mother into matrimony and left her in misery.

  He shook his head to rid himself of the thought of his poor sentimental mother and his cold father. Although, he had professed an ardent passion for Charlotte when he had offered her his hand, he had in truth merely felt a high regard for her, he was now ashamed to admit. In his profession as a clergyman, he had witnessed many a man and woman do the most foolhardy things for love. He was not adverse to affection but felt that love addled the brain, confused the senses and made a mockery of a person. He had seen many a time how a sensible and intelligent person could be brought low by that sentiment. How love could induce one to break the law, act with impropriety and how it was disrespectful of rank. No, he thought gravely, love is something to be resisted, it was dangerous and to be avoided if possible.

  However, the longing in his heart to go to his wife, enfold her in his arms, and apologise for the past few weeks was overwhelming. He sat back in his chair and forced himself to stay seated and resist the urge to be so sentimental.

  * * *

  Charlotte knocked on Mr Collins' book room door and awaited a response. None came. She knew he was in there but she did not wish to disturb him if he was working on the church accounts still. Therefore, she informed Mrs Higgs that she was going out to visit with Mrs Harris, to welcome the twins and was taking them all a basket of fruit and vegetables.

  * * *

  Mr Collins had started at the sound of her knock on his book room door but had remained silent, staring at the door. He did not wish to see her at that moment; he was fighting with his feelings.

  He heard her speaking to the housekeeper and getting ready to leave. He overheard their conversation about the basket she was taking and Mrs Higgs asking Charlotte to pass on her own congratulations to the couple. Then, he moved to the window as Charlotte left and he watched her walk across their small drive and out of the gate towards the workers' cottages to the west of the village. His book room afforded the best view of the road of any room in the house and he was able to keep her in sight for a few minutes. Watching her make her way down the lane, stopping to speak to a child, give him an apple from the basket, and then continue on her way.

  He was most certainly proud of her. She was indeed a very good wife, and an ideal one for a clergyman. He realised with some embarrassment that it had taken over a year to see his wife as clearly as everyone else did. He was ashamed of himself, he knew she deserved better, he knew she deserved a husband who could love her, but he was not willing to give into that particular emotion.

  He returned to his chair by the fire and remembered some other words the Colonel had said to him, that he was overly zealous in his attentions to Lady Catherine.

  “Could that also be true?” He wondered aloud. “Am I placing Lady Catherine's wishes above those of my wife? Am I sacrificing domestic happiness for an over stated sense of obligation to her Ladyship?”

  He shook his head again and returned to his work, “Surely not, at the very least I hope not. If that were in fact true, that would make me a very foolish man indeed.”

  * * *

  Over the following days, Charlotte and Mr Collins were busy with their parishioners. There had been three births in the last two weeks, twins, and two boys born to two sisters who were married to two brothers. Charlotte attended to all families, helping to prepare food for the younger children, and helping the mothers to get back on their feet again. She enjoyed helping to care for the new-borns even though she did not enjoy the jibes that were often aimed in her direction about it being her turn next.

  Mr Collins lot was not so joyous. He was called to wait on old Ted Norris, who it was thought was close to breathing his last on this earth. Ted had been the cobbler in the village since he was 'knee-high to a grasshopper', so he told it. His father had been the cobbler before him and his grandfather before that. He was proud that his son carried on the tradition but was pained that his only grandson had wanted to join the Navy instead. However, he told Mr Collins, he was glad that one of his great-grandsons, by his eldest granddaughter, had expressed a wish to be apprenticed to his son Eddie Norris the current Cobbler. Old Ted Norris was a greatly loved character in Hunsford and the surrounding area, and every year as the sun began to warm the earth Ted fancied himself 'a goner', as he said. Mr Collins sat with him, listened to tales of his youth, and blushed when he was told how he had caught and won the heart of Mrs Norris. Maisie Norris looked on fondly at the old man, they had been married most of their lives and Mr Collins noticed they still were in love, something he did not expect to see and was not familiar with.

  Mr Collins had been with Ted for most of the day and was tired. Maisie inclined her head to indicate he should follow her as old Ted fell asleep once again.

  “You get on off home Reverend. We will be all right. It ain't nought but old Ted getting one of his feelings on. He'll be as right as rain in a day or two, you'll see.”

  Therefore, Mr Collins bid farewell to Mrs Norris and made his way home.

  Charlotte was awaiting him in the hall when he opened the door, “Good evening Mr Collins. I trust you had a pleasant day?”

  He handed his hat, coat, and walking cane to Mrs Higgs and sighed wearily, “Testing, my dear, testing. I was visiting with old Ted Norris. He is having another of his early spring 'bouts' but I fear this time he seems weaker than he did last year.”

  “I am sorry to hear that my dear. Would you like a cup of tea and to tell me about it?”

  He looked at her, once again realising that he did not really know her at all. He nodded and said that he would like that and together they went into the sitting room and he told her about Ted.

  Dealing with the infirm or elderly was not something Mr Collins enjoyed nor was it something for which he had any aptitude. He never knew the appropriate thing to say and more often than not ended by saying something inappropriate or insulting.

  Charlotte however, did not feel ill at ease in such situations and was often much help to those in need. All the same, she felt compassion for Mr Collins' predicament. It was never pleasant to act with ease in a situation that made one apprehensive.

  They took tea together and he talked over his day and his worries about Ted's health and concerns for the widow he would leave behind and then remembered she had also gone visiting that day, “I do apologise Charlotte. I have been chattering on and I have completely forgotten my manners. Oh, I am sorry. Do tell me how the infants and mothers are.”

  He managed to remain quiet for the whole of her discourse on the infants, the mothers, the poor conditions they lived in, and the deficient diets they ate. He interjected only once to ask if there was anything more the church could do. Charlotte was glad he was too tired to speak to her much that evening and that allowed her to acquaint him with a few charitable ideas she had had regarding those families with more than their fair share of children.

  She had been reading in the newspapers that the Sunday Schools spreading across the nation were indeed doing a valuable job and wondered if that would be a good idea for the children of Hunsford.

  “It is too far for the children to travel into Westerham and attend the School at St. Mary's therefore, I thought there might be a few volunteers to run one here. What do you think my dear?”

  He smiled at her sleepily; he agreed the idea had merit, that the children needed guidance and the parents some time away from their numerous children. He did not dismiss the idea but to her surprise verily said he would think on it and when the next meeting of Deacons took place that he wou
ld present the idea to them.

  Charlotte was beside herself with shock, he had never accepted an idea of hers. His usual bent was to inform her that parochial business should be left to those more informed than herself. This normally infuriated her, but this time was different. This time he had listened to her and had actually said he would think about her idea.

  She decided it was best not to say another word on the subject but to order dinner to be served before Mr Collins fell asleep on the sofa.

  19

  The Collins household was roused early the next morning by someone hammering on the front door.

  Mrs Higgs rushed from the kitchen to unbolt the door and was shocked to see Joe Cousins, young Mr Norris' apprentice standing there out of breath.

  “Whatever is the meaning of all this young man?” she asked, irritated that he had knocked on the front door, instead of going around the back like all other tradesmen.

  The boy was hardly able to breathe from running and was bent over double, “Begging ye pardon Missus. Reverend Collins is wanted!”

  “Wanted? Wanted where boy?”

  Charlotte who had risen early that morning with the intention of walking then appeared by Mrs Higgs side, “I will deal with this Mrs Higgs. Would you be so kind as to wake Mr Collins?”

  “Very good ma'am.” she bobbed a curtsey at Charlotte all the while keeping her eyes on the boy at the door and retreated into the house to do as she was bade.

  “Oh and Mrs Higgs,” called Charlotte after her, “when you are done, be so good as to have the gig prepared, Mr Collins will want to leave immediately.”

  “Yes ma'am.”

  Charlotte then turned her attention to the panting boy in front of her, “You are Joe, are you not?”

  “Yes Mrs Reverend.” he looked up at her with his eyes wide and touched his forelock.

  She smiled down at him, “Now then Joe, tell me what this is all about.”

  “It's great-grandpa Missus. He's been taken real bad.”

  Charlotte looked at him in shock, Mr Collins had believed that this would pass, not that Mr Norris himself would pass, “You mean, Mr Norris, old Ted the Cobbler?”

  “Yes Missus. Great-granny is beside herself, she is. He ain't never been this bad afore Missus.”

  Charlotte gazed down at him with a sadness in her eyes outweighed by the concern shown in his, “Have you eaten Joe? Are you hungry?” He nodded that he was.

  She smiled at him and led him inside and into the kitchen, where cook and Jenny were surprised to see his arrival, “This is young Joe; do you have any breakfast for him?”

  Cook curtseyed at her and said they were going to have porridge and that he was welcome to some of that.

  “Do you like porridge Joe?” Charlotte asked him.

  “I don't know Missus. I only have gruel in the morning usually.”

  Charlotte smiled, “Well, Joe this is like gruel only thicker. I think you will like it and it will fill you up more.”

  He eagerly sat down to the bowl of porridge cook presented him with and she gave him a glass of milk to wash it down. They all watched him eat, and he wolfed it all down making him seem as though he had been starving.

  As she led him back upstairs to wait for Mr Collins in the hall, Charlotte commented, “My Joe, you have a voracious appetite.”

  “I don't know what that is Missus, but I like me food.”

  She continued chatting to him while they waited and he told her all about being an apprentice cobbler. About how he had dreams of having more than one shop one day when he was the master. Charlotte told him that it was healthy to have dreams and encouraged him to do well in learning his trade. Joe had heard she was a nice lady but he had only ever seen her sitting in the front pew at church, but now he was glad he had spoken to her and he agreed that she was a nice lady.

  Mr Collins arrived soon thereafter and as Charlotte had taken the liberty of having the gig readied, and after hearing what the boy had to say, indeed wished to leave immediately.

  Charlotte pressed him to take some bread and cheese and a cup of tea before leaving, “It is likely to be a long day Mr Collins.”

  He saw the wisdom in her words, went into the dining room while putting on his coat, and took some bites of the bread and cheese and a few mouthfuls of tea.

  While Mr Collins was thus occupied, Charlotte led Joe out to the gig, “Have you ever ridden in a gig before Joe?”

  “No never Missus. But Master Norris lets me ride on the back of his cart sometimes.” He looked over the gig with awe.

  “Well then, today is your lucky day.” She smiled down at him and heard his gasp. “Are you going back to the workshop or to your Great-grandfather's home?”

  “To Great-grandpa's. There ain't going to be any work today Missus.” He looked sad once again.

  “No indeed not.” she replied and offered him her hand to help him climb into the gig as Mr Collins appeared behind her. Joe did not need her assistance as he was a very agile boy and he climbed up and sat next to Mr Collins with ease.

  Mr Collins looked at his wife, “My dear, I do not know when I will return.”

  “I understand Mr Collins. Please take my kindest regards to the family.”

  Mr Collins flicked the reins and the horse began to walk and they departed with little Joe waving back at her from the side. She walked out to the lane so she could wave at him in return until they had driven out of sight.

  * * *

  Charlotte took a slow breakfast and then walked into Hunsford to visit Louisa and Mrs Thomas. They were both very excited about their little evening party that night and it was with regret that Charlotte had to inform the ladies of their having to cancel their acceptance. They were sad indeed that Charlotte and Mr Collins would not be able to attend. They listened attentively to Charlotte's explanation of why Mr Collins was called away that morning and her sad expectation of an unfortunate ending to the day.

  “Oh my dear, how sad this is!” exclaimed Louisa.

  “How hard it must be on Mr Collins!” Mrs Thomas joined.

  “Indeed, I believe this must be the hardest part of Mr Collins profession,” agreed Charlotte. “I must admit that I am pleased I have not been asked to attend the bedside. Although, I would gladly do my duty in that respect but it is not a task to be envied. Mr Collins will of course be needed to stay until... well.” They nodded in understanding.

  Louisa and Mrs Thomas did their best to lighten their friend's mood by involving her in the arrangements and preparations for the evening, and Charlotte passed as good as morning as she was able to in their home.

  Charlotte visited with the Abbots also before returning to the parsonage. They expressed their grief at such news and offered any assistance that might be required. Charlotte stated that she did not know the particulars and that she had never attended a pauper's funeral therefore it would be best for Mr Abbot to appeal to Mr Collins to offer such assistance. He nodded in agreement and said he would visit the parsonage in the morning to enquire of Mr Collins.

  * * *

  It was with a heavy heart that Charlotte walked back to the parsonage that day. In the time she had been Mrs Collins, she had experienced a whole range of duties connected with the occupation of a clergyman and his wife. Births, marriages, and now it would seem deaths also. The full cycle of a person's life was under the care of a clergyman and whilst most events were joyous, this particular part was the opposite. Charlotte knew that if she were to perform her part in it well that she would need to steel herself and rein in her emotions that of late had become more unstable. The last thing Mr Collins needs, she thought, is for me to break down and cry over every sorrowful event.

  * * *

  When she arrived home, there had been no word from Mr Collins and she took a light lunch, her appetite gone.

  The afternoon dragged on with her watching the clock and the progression of the hands as they marched round the dial. She grew agitated and felt useless simply waiting to hear any news.
She thought of walking out to the Norris cottage, but it was fully two miles there, and Mr Collins would be in a fury with her for walking all that way alone. She saw the impropriety of such action and so settled herself on the sofa to await her husband's return. As time marched on, she grew tired, laid down, her head upon the arm of the sofa, and was asleep before she knew it.

  She was awoken at six o'clock by Mrs Higgs. The room was dark and Mrs Higgs told her they had not wanted to disturb her. Jenny began to stoke up the fire and Charlotte realised she had grown cold and shivered.

  “Would you like me to prepare you a hot bath Mrs Collins?” Mrs Higgs asked upon seeing her mistress shiver.

  “No, no. I would like some tea and I will fetch my shawl.”

  Mrs Higgs closed the curtains and lit the candles while Charlotte walked groggily upstairs to fetch her shawl. It was obvious that Mr Collins still had not returned and she knew he would be tired, cold, and very hungry upon his return.

  Once she had found her crocheted shawl in the chest and placed it around her shoulders, she picked up her book, went back to the sitting room and found Mrs Higgs awaiting her return with a steaming cup of tea in her hand.

  “Oh thank you Mrs Higgs. How long was I asleep?”

  “About two hours ma'am,” she handed the cup to Charlotte. “I assume you will not be dining out this evening.”

  “Of course not and Mr Collins will be very cold and hungry when he returns.”

  “Might I suggest a lamb stew ma'am?”

  Charlotte smiled, “Yes that would be perfect Mrs Higgs. Is there any chocolate left?”

  “Aye ma'am there is.”